Exams coming and the mood is not right, all thanks to those *uckers

Exams's coming as u can guess from my title for this entry ...!! Damn...!! Haa haa, actually i'm kinda looking forward to the exams and also dreading it at the same moment. Why ? Cos i wanna get over with it so tat the much awaited hos will be here. But at the same time, i really wanna do well for the exams n i'm afraid tat i might not be good enough. Haiz....

Taking 4 courses this term, 2 of them is already over. And ppl have been telling me tat i'm very lucky cos i only have 2 exams, but is tat really a good thing ?? I don't even know how i did for the 2 courses....!! Damn it. And i'm don't think i'll do very well for both 'comms' and 'LTB'. Damn. Cos i kanna sabo by both my grps mates...!! damn it ...!! think i have to go Temple and pray before getting grp mates before the next sem,...!! Argh ...... Those *uckers.....!!

Rather worried about the upcoming exams also lar....sian ..., cos exam's next week, everyone that i know are mugging really hard, but i'm slacking around, watching movie, staying at home and slack and also went for 2 bday pparties this week ...!! What's wrong with me ? I don't have any sense of urgency at all, tat's the scary thing. It's scary cos i really wanna do well, but i cant find the motivation to do so.

Not really very happy these days. MAybe that's one of the reason as to why i dont have the mood to study etc. Cos i'm wasting my time thinking of other thing. Been thinking of all these weeks, 13 weeks in school. My grades are not tat fantastic, and i als didn't really make much friends (at least not close ones). Really sad about it. There are ppl tat i feel are rather good friends at times, but right now, i can no longer be sure of that, cos of all those things tat i had seen in these days. Like for example, after all those things tat i had done for my proj, i actually got the lowest for the apprasial. Maybe i really am not good enough, but i do not think so. I realy felt tat it's unfair to me. And those *other **ckers, ask them to jus think about it, will the presentation be tat good if not for me ? will the portfolio etc be done if not for me ? Will there even be minutes for all the meetings if i'm not the one who go home after every meeting to do them up when the others jus go enjoying their life ? Haiz..... IT's not the grades tat really affected me, it's the ppl..... ... why i did so much for the grp ? cos i want everyone to do well, but at the end, everyone will really do well, except me ...!! Damn ... ... i give up..!! And what friends do i hv ? Ppl only come and look for me when they need help, like need me to teach them things like stats or FA. But when i wanna study, no one wanna accompany me at all...!! fuck...!! What friends i have rite ? haiz ... .... .....